Watching the finale of the first season of Mad Men last night (Laura and I get our best TV by DVD) I was thinking about how difficult it would be to conceal an affair from your spouse in this day and age. It helps that people have their own phones, but email, social networking sites and the like provide so many more ways to get caught it you are not careful. It isn’t enough that you have to cover your own tracks, you also have to worry about what the other person is doing on the very public Internet (looking at that story it always surprises me how many people make so much of their Facebook profiles public).

If you want to keep your wife and girlfriend from discovering each other you will have to do a bit more work. For starters you are going to need a new email address, and a second mobile phone. The first is easy, but be sure to clear the browser history after you look at it to cover your tracks. The second phone is a little more difficult as there is a cost issue, and you need to keep the “cheating” phone hidden. Apparently Nokias are the preferred phones for cheaters.

When if comes to Facebook and the like, you can probably claim “I am not on it”, but it would look a little odd if you ask your new girlfriend not to mention your name, or put a photograph of you on the site in case it turns up in someone else’s search. And how do you conceal your existing profile and relationship with your wife?

All this means you now have a new set of suspicious behaviours for your spouse to look out for, apart from the traditional overnights at the office, strange perfume smells, and lipstick on the collar (a sign of a kisser who need to sober up, or get better contact lenses).

My advice then for a spouse worried they are being cuckolded is to watch for their significant other deleting their Facebook profile pictures, changing their privacy settings to be more restrictive, or just deleting their profile. They may also set their browser to automatically clear the history and cache on exit. Be alert for signs they have a new mobile phone, and check if they have changed the password on their email account recently (Laura and I know each other’s email passwords *smug*).

Of course if the cheater and the person they are cheating with know the affair is illicit then it becomes much easier. Until such time of course as one party discovers that the other will not leave their spouse as they promised*. Then you have a whole range of options for digital bunny boiling. Maybe I will make that my next post…

* I have never really understood the appeal to a woman of having an affair with a married man. If he has betrayed one woman (his current wife) he can betray another.