I have no idea where this originally came from, but we use to belt it out on the bus to and from Wicklow hikes back in my UCD MC days. I found a version online, but the guy had mangled the last verse. And that cannot be allowed. So with some help from Valerie H, here it is in all its (original) glory*.
It is sung to the tune of the Wild Rover.
I’ve been a rock climber for many’s a year,And spent all me money on rock climbing gear,Now I’ve no money and me fingers are sore,And I swear that I’ll be a rock climber no more.And it’s no, nay, never, (jangle yer nuts!)No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never, no more.I went to a crag that I used to frequent,And told my belayer my fingers were spent,I said to her ‘lead on’, she answered me nay!You’re the rock climber, I only belay.And it’s no, nay, never, (handle the jugs)No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never no more.I took a big friend from my climbing rack,
And I stuck it in the off width crack,
I went to climb on but started to peel,
And the hard ground beneath me was all I could feel.And it’s no, nay, never, (finger the crack)
No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never, no more.And now as I lie here with my broken leg,
I knew that I should have banged in a peg,
And all I can do now is talk on and on
About the time I climbed the Grepon.
* I am still not 100% happy with how some of the verses scan. Somewhere there is an old UCD MC song book that has the proper words…