I have no idea where this originally came from, but we use to belt it out on the bus to and from Wicklow hikes back in my UCD MC days. I found a version online, but the guy had mangled the last verse. And that cannot be allowed. So with some help from Valerie H, here it is in all its (original) glory*.
It is sung to the tune of the Wild Rover.
I’ve been a rock climber for many’s a year,And spent all me money on rock climbing gear,Now I’ve no money and me fingers are sore,And I swear that I’ll be a rock climber no more.And it’s no, nay, never, (jangle yer nuts!)No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never, no more.I went to a crag that I used to frequent,And told my belayer my fingers were spent,I said to her ‘lead on’, she answered me nay!You’re the rock climber, I only belay.And it’s no, nay, never, (handle the jugs)No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never no more.I took a big friend from my climbing rack,
And I stuck it in the off width crack,
I went to climb on but started to peel,
And the hard ground beneath me was all I could feel.And it’s no, nay, never, (finger the crack)
No, nay, never, no more,I’ll be a rock climber, no never, no more.And now as I lie here with my broken leg,
I knew that I should have banged in a peg,
And all I can do now is talk on and on
About the time I climbed the Grepon.
* I am still not 100% happy with how some of the verses scan. Somewhere there is an old UCD MC song book that has the proper words…
Going to use this song at Walk the Line at the weekend. Good to keep the song alive!